Blarg Burgers, or A Lesson in Editing

Well, they looked good, anyway.

I went into these black eyed pea burgers with very high hopes. I wanted something delicious to go on a bun with lettuce and some beautiful tomatoes that I had hanging around. Black eyed peas and tomatoes, the only thing missing, as far as I could tell, was some green chiles. I picked up a couple of cans from TJ's, and was on my way.

I had borrowed this recipe (Hi, Drew!) a while back to make some tasty little black eyed pea cakes, and they were a dream! I used black eyed peas that I had leftover which I had made myself, and I think that made a big difference between that experiment and this one. One thing I've learned while cooking is that you have to season some things from the get-go; you can't fudge it as you go. The canned ones needed more seasoning that I could manage, and it all just went wonky, one ingredient after another.

A fill-in-the-blank cake is a pretty easy thing to make. You take something that's in small pieces--salmon, shrimp, beans, beef, pork--add some seasoning, a little breadcrumb, a little binder like an egg if you need it, patty-cake it up, maybe dust it in some panko, maybe not, and cook it in bacon grease, on the grill, in a non-stick pan, on the engine of your car, pretty much anywhere. And you have a delicious puck that you can eat on a bun or on a salad or with an egg on top or whatever. It's not rocket-science. Or at least, it shouldn't be.

I just combined all of this stuff and pan fried it in non-stick pan with a tiny bit of canola oil. Here's ingredients and commentary:


Black-Eyed Pea Burgers
1 Can of black-eyed peas, heated in the microwave for about a minute, then drained and mashed with a fork
1/2 Red bell pepper, minced
1/2 Yellow bell pepper, minced,
1 Small onion, minced
2-3 Scallions, green and white part, chopped
1 small bunch of cilantro, chopped (I used the kind that comes in the small plastic shells at TJ's)
1 egg
1 can of chopped green chiles
1 minced jalepeno
1/2 cup plain breadcrumbs
1/3 cup oat bran
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp cumin


Up to here, things were going pretty well. I think I over-mashed the peas, and I probably should've stuck with the breadcrumbs. I've been trying to get some more fiber into my diet, so I thought the oat bran would be a good way to sneak some in. I actually would try using it again in a situation like this. I don't think it did anything to the texture that was too bad, and they weren't overly dry or anything. The whole end product was just so disappointing that I can't help but point my finger at things which are a little unfamiliar to me.


I tasted the mix at this point, and it seemed to be missing some sort of zip. I would've liked to have used a little lime as it seemed complementary to the flavors here, but all I had was a lemon. I add the juice from half of it, and some of the zest. It seemed fine, but still a little off and a bit bland. 

I then added a bit of Worcestershire sauce. I love Worcestershire sauce and can't see it as a bad thing at all. I tasted it again, and it still seemed kind of blah.

Then I added another can of green chiles. They were probably the blandest green chiles I've ever tried to use. The second can added almost nothing except excess liquid. So I added another quarter cup or so of oat bran. Another taste, and the juice from the other half of the lemon went in.

frosty bowl

At this point I'd tasted the mix enough times that I couldn't really tell what was going on with it anymore. I probably just needed a bit more salt after the first round of ingredients. I was sick of tasting, and my pan was hot. I stuck the bowl into the freezer for a few minutes to firm up everything for making patties, and they actually looked really great when I divvied them up. I made six burgers using a 1/3 cup scoop. It was the perfect amount for a bun.


They cooked up really well with a very nice crust, and no falling apart at all. I was optimistic! I might actually pull this off!


I mixed up a little sauce with some Greek yogurt, a little lemon juice, some scallion, and some cumin. Once the burgers were done, I assembled one for me and one for my roommate, henceforth known as the Bon Vivant. They were pretty! Yay!


And then we sat down and started to eat, and...blah. It was not good. The sauce was yucky, to say the least. The texture was actually pretty good, but the veggies were not particularly discernible, and I had wanted them to be. There was too much acid; it overpowered the earthy taste of the black-eyed peas. The Bon Vivant said they weren't bad, but they were not what I was hoping for at all. I gnawed at mine with disgust and a feeling of failure.


I think the flavor of black-eyed peas is more delicate than I thought. All of the additions just overpowered it. If you decide to make this a black-eyed pea burger and it turns out well, let me know because these need serious work!